Friends - [2x06] - The One with the Baby on the Bus

The One with the Baby on the Bus [2.06][edit]

I'm in the shower and I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is Nirget

[Joey and Chandler are babysitting Ben.]
Joey: It's a known fact that women love babies, all right? Women love guys who love babies. It's that whole sensitive thing. Quick, aim him at that pack of babes over there.
Caroline: Hello.
Joey and Chandler: Hello.
Caroline: And who is this little cutie-pie?
Chandler: Well, don't, don't think me immodest, but, me?
Joey: You wanna smell him?
Caroline: I assume we're talking about the baby now.

[Joey and Chandler are trying to figure out which of two babies is Ben, whom they had left on the bus earlier.]
Joey: Well, that one has ducks on his t-shirt and this one has clowns, and Ben was definitely wearing ducks...
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: ...Or clowns. Oh! Oh, wait, that one's definitely Ben! Remember? He had that cute little mole by his mouth!
Chandler: Yeah?
Joey: Yeah.
[Chandler reaches for one of the babies.]
Chandler: Hey, Ben, remember us?
[He quickly recoils from the baby.]
Chandler: Okay, the mole came off. What are we gonna do? What are we gonna do?
Joey: Uh, uh...we'll flip for it. Ducks or clowns.
Chandler: Oh, we're gonna flip for the baby?!
Joey: You got a better idea?
[Chandler digs a coin out of his pocket]
Chandler: Okay, call it in the air.
[He flips the coin]
Joey: Heads.
Chandler: Heads it is.
Joey: Yes!
[Joey turns to Chandler, relieved, while Chandler stares at him exasperatedly]
Chandler: We have to assign heads to something!
Joey: Oh! Right! Okay, okay, uh...ducks is heads, because ducks have heads.
[There is a long pause while Chandler stares at Joey disbelievingly]
Chandler: (sarcastically) What kind of scary-ass clowns came to your birthday?

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