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Friends - [5x09] - The One with Ross's Sandwich



The One with Ross's Sandwich [5.09][edit]

[Phoebe is talking about the literature class she's taking.]
Phoebe: Yeah, well, I really liked that Lamaze class I took! You know, I just thought this time I'd go for something, you know, a little more intellectual... with a less painful final exam.

Ross: Someone at work ate my sandwich!
Chandler: Well, what did the police say?
Ross: My Thanksgiving leftover sandwich! I can't believe someone ate it!
Chandler: It's just a sandwich!
Ross: Just a sandwich? I'm 30 years old, I'm going to be divorced twice and I just got evicted! That sandwich was the only good thing going on in my life! SOMEONE ATE THE ONLY GOOD THING GOING ON IN MY LIFE! [pauses]
Monica: I have enough stuff for one more sandwich. I was going to eat it myself, but...
Ross: That would be incredible! Thank you so much! I still can't believe someone ate it!! I left a note!
Chandler[reading the note] "Knock-knock." "Who's there?" "Ross Geller's lunch." "'Ross Geller's lunch' who?" "Ross Geller's lunch; please don't take me, ok?"
Joey: I'm surprised you didn't go home wearing your lunch!
Phoebe: You want to hold on to your food, you have to scare people off. I learned that living on the street.
Ross: Really? So what would you say? 'Keep your mitts off my grub'?
Chandler: Ross, when you picture Phoebe living on the street, is she surrounded by the entire cast of Annie?
Phoebe[writing a note] This will keep them away from your stuff!
[Everyone sees the note and gasps]
Monica: Phoebe, you are a bad-ass!
Phoebe: Someday I'll tell you about the time I stabbed a cop!
Monica: Phoebe!
Phoebe: HE STABBED ME FIRST!!

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