Friends - [8x18] - The One In Massapequa

The One in Massapequa [8.18][edit]

Parker: To quote Ross, "I better be going!"
Phoebe: Don't let the best door in the world hit you in the ass on the way out!

Phoebe: Well, if you're gonna get to know him then you'd better do it now.
Joey: Why?
Phoebe: Because I'm gonna kill him.
Joey: What? Why?
Phoebe: You guys were right, Parker's too excited about everything. I mean I'm all for living, but come on, this is the Geller's 35th wedding anniversary, let's call a spade a spade, this party stinks!
Joey: I know, I'm having the worst time. There was a 15-minute line for the buffet, then when I finally got up to the plates, I slipped on a giant booger!
Phoebe: Really? Are you sure it wasn't an oyster?
Joey: I dunno, I guess it could've been. I didn't really look at it. I just wiped it on Chandler's coat and got the hell outta there.

Chandler:[About Parker] Somewhere there is someone with a tranquilizer gun and a huge butterfly net looking for that man.

Parker: My God, I don't want to forget this moment! It's like I want to take a mental picture of you all. Click!
Chandler: I don't think the flash went off.

Parker: Is something wrong?
Phoebe: Wrong? Really, you know the word wrong? Everything isn't perfect? Everything isn't magical and aglow with the light of a million fairies? They were just brake lights, Parker!
Parker: Well, excuse me for trying to put a positive spin on a traffic jam!

Parker: I'm a positive person!
Phoebe: No. I'm a positive person. You are like Santa Claus...on Prozac...in Disneyland...getting laid!

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