Phoebe: [about why she and her twin sister Ursula don't get along] It’s mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know. I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking. Even though I did it, later that same day. But to my parents, by then it was like, "Yeah, right, so what else is new?"
[At the Lamaze class, mother-to-be Carol panics after seeing a videotaped birth.]
Ross: Everything's going to be all right.
Carol: What do you know?! No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi! Is that your nostril? Mind if we push this POT ROAST THROUGH IT?"
The One with Two Parts, Part 2 [1.17]
Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
Chandler and Joey: That's nice.
Ross: No, no. With him. I'm on this field, and they... they hike me the baby. And I know I've gotta do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
Joey: Tampa Bay's got a terrible team.
Ross: Right, but it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinkin' they can take us.
Chandler: Okay, worst case scenario. Say you never feel like a father.
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.