[Friends Season 1x23]  - The One with the Birth 

The One with the Birth [1.23]

They're tiny and chubby and so sweet to touch
Soon they'll grow up and resent you so much
Now they're yelling at you and you don't know why
You cry and you cry and you cry
And you cry and you cry and you cry...
[Ross gives Phoebe a dollar]
Phoebe: Thanks, Ross!
Ross: I'm paying you to stop.

Monica: I wanna baby!
Chandler: You'll get one.
Monica: Oh really, when?
Chandler: All right. I'll tell you what. When we're 40, if neither one of us are married, what do you say you and I get together and have one?
Monica: Why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Oh, no, no. I just meant hypothetically.
Monica: Okay, hypothetically, why won't I be married when I'm 40?
Chandler: Uh... Uh....
Monica: What is it, is there something fundamentally un-marry-able about me? Well?
Chandler: This parachute is a knapsack!

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